Updated: Nov 16
When you are stressed, one of the best therapies I can recommend is gardening.
Thankfully, my friend allowed me to plant some carrots and potatoes in his garden. He thought I was crazy.
"What do you want to do that for?"
"Because food prices are going to rise - that's if there's any left for us."
Again, he thought me crazy. But I continued to plant nevertheless.
I also had to remove my belongings from my accommodation - as I no longer was employed. Not an easy task given the stressful climate we were living under.
This entailed me, within a limited time-frame, packing boxes and stacking them in a small van, driving the length of the country and unpacking them in a container. Two, actually. I didn't have time to unpack the container I had, so took the easy option and booked another one. While it was available, right next door to my current one.
It was a strenuos exercise. One I could have done without and done with some help. But no. I did it all alone. I made sure the boxes were small, light and manageable. But still, they were heavy.
Eventually, all done, I returned for one last night in my old accommodation and wondered what the heck I had done.
How had I lost my job during a time of pandemic and a huge amount of redundancies and furloughed staff?
Perhaps my friend was right afterall, I was crazy.
Actually, the moon has been kind of crazy lately. It's an orange colour. Almost pink. They're calling it a 'blood moon'. I don't care. It looks odd. Weird. Not what we're used to. But then, nothing of late is what I'm used to.
The world appears to have been turned up-side-down and then some. And what I find kind of odd, is that everyone has just rolled over and accepted it, like a dog asking for his belly to be tickled.
I guess it hasn't helped that many staff have been told to 'work from home' and been given 80% of their salaries to do so.
NHS staff are being hailed as heroes, and yet, from the reports I'm getting (from the front line), no one is working. They've sent all their patients home. All those people who were waiting in the wards for pending operations were not not going to have them, as they were told they would be inundated with people who had this virus.
No one came though. The corridors, according to a Ward Sister I know in quite a big important hospital, says there's no one there to treat.
Perhaps it's on another ward?
I'm beginning to wonder what this life is all about. I watched an Abraham Hicks video and it went some way to answering some questions I had.
She said life was about 'experiencing' things.
We are soul's in bodies who want to experience life.
Well, can I experience some other kind of life, please? One where i don't feel so worried or anxious all the time.
Of late, I've been going to bed thinking I'll just drop off to sleep like I normally do, but I don't.
For nearly half the night, it's difficult to stop the trembling sensations.
The have taken a grip of my whole body. I know it's adrenaline, caused by stress and I do my 7/11 breathing technique, but it still comes. Regular as clockwork.
I've wanted to visit the doctors again, but this time it's virtually impossible. in fact, that's the only way you can 'see' a doctor now - virtually.
They don't appear to want to see people of a certain age, i.e. old.
Still, the images of people with plastic boxes on their head is making me laugh. And that's what we all need right now, a bit of lighthearted banter. We need the comedians to help us through this.
So, comedians, get out of your depressive slump (many of them are depressed), and cheer up the nation. No matter how much it offends people.
That's an order!
And that's another thing, we can't seem to say anything of late for fear of someone being hurt or offended by what has been said - regardless of whether it's been targetted at that person or not.
What the heck is going on?
The journalists are certainly not helping. In fact, they appear to be in their element. Reporting that many will DIE and that the world is going to change - for the worst. Things will never get back to the world we once knew and that we should all get used to this 'new normal'.
I want my life back. I'm not scared that easily, because I've been through the AIDS crisis. During that time, I left a perfectly decent, honest and caring man for a bit of a slag of a man. Although I didn't know it at the time he was 'poking' several women at once - me included.
But I never got AIDS.
I also ate the beef that farmers were told to kill and burn because we would all get infected with BSE. Those poor farmers, thousands were devastated and never recovered from it. I never got the flu from those poor chickens (Avian flu) either, nor the pigs (Swine flu) - even though I ate both. Regularly.
Nearly every winter season the media (newspapers and television) has scared us with a flu bug of some sort. It's as though it's written into their very being that they have to keep us in fear of something or their work isn't done.
I present a call out to journalists everywhere:
"Please do your work and report on the cruelty that is happening in the world. Don't ever think you are arbiters of peace, or predictors of the future. You write the stories that inform and educate. Leave it at that."
If I survived all those catastrophies our journalists have wrote about, I can certainly survive this stupid, poxy virus, which appears to be little more than a flu bug similar to the ones you've told us about over the past two decades.
And another thing, why are those journalists allowed to travel to and go to work? To spread more lies? To keep the people in fear? To what end?
The thing is, I keep asking myself this question:
Have you ever known a government to CARE about the citizens that elected them to hold the reins of power?
So, why should they give a damn about us now?
No. Something bigger is going on here. Something beyond our own little worlds that we've created to live within. Beyond the basic living standards that we've gotten used to. Beyond what the majority of people understand.
I can't help but think that all the big businesses have been able to operate, unhindered, except for making their staff wear masks and telling them to tell people to social distance - yet small businesses all over the world have been told to stop working.
That's going to cause a catastrophe!
Surely, everyone can see that?
As a psychotherapist, I can predict that there are going to be a lot of deaths. Not from the virus. But from the following:
All of the things that I am trained to help people with. So, I'm offering a service - for free - for people who are suffering, alone and fearful.
I'm going through it myself, so I know what it's like But the key thing is, I have the tools to help me through. And I can give these away to those who need it.
One of the reasons I am thinking like this is because the newspapers keep telling us that 'old people are going to die from this' as though everyone else is immune. The excuse given is that they are frail and weaker than a younger person.
But I don't get it.
We've all been told if we are not a 'key worker' - to stay at home. Which means that those of us who stay at home (granted, I haven't got a job anyway), are not considered as meaningful. We have no purpose. We are not needed.
Which worries me. Will we be next on the 'frail' and 'weak' list?
There's also a worrying trend that concerns me a lot - and that is the 'snitches'. They seem to be out in their thousands. I cannot understand how they do it. Doesn't their conscience ever stop them from asking one question: "What am I doing?"
They are scared, I understand that. But to act against the very people who could possibly help you through a tough patch yourself... where's the sense in that?
Again, government's don't care about you.
And it's always said that if you forget your history, you are in danger of repeating it. Well, heres a reminder. Those who snitched on people in the WW1 and WW2 - find out what happened to them. It wasn't a pleasant scenario.
You have to look after your own.
I repeat again, our governments doesn't care about us. They've proved that in Britain with the expenses scandals, the pensions scandals and the selling off of some Great British institutions. Like our water, gas and electric. Did you know they are owned by European countries now? Look it up!
With their policies, they've devastated our farming industry. After killing their cattle, they actually pay farmers subsidies NOT to plant food. Because they were so broke, local Councils bought their land - which they are now selling off for millions of pounds and devasting our landscape as a matter of course.
I have always wanted to know where all that money is going?
Certainly not to relieve the locals of rates or poll tax - or community charge as they like to call it now.
What was that little poem "First they came for the socialists..." It was by Martin Niemöller.
Martin Niemöller was born in the Westphalian town of Lippstadt, Germany, on January 14, 1892. In 1910 he became a cadet in the Imperial German Navy. With the outbreak of World War I in 1914, Niemöller was assigned to a U-Boat, of which he was eventually appointed the commander.
The poem or quote reads like this:
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out
because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak for me.
He was known as one of the first German's to acknowledge and apologise for the wrong's his nation had inflicted upon the Jews. He said that he and his nation had sinned against people and they shouldn't have done.
Regardless of this worrying scenario being enacted out on the stage before us all, one good thing about all this, is that I've been taken to reading my Bible a lot. I say of late, but my Bible has been packed away into my container with my other belongings. But prior to my packing up my life, and making changes, I was reading it every day.
The odd thing is...
So many prophesies were coming true.
Listening to two pastors on YouTube you can see how, what is happenign around the world now, is a predicted reality.
One pastor, Robert Breaker of the Cloud Church who explains very clearly about the Bible's history and the people in it. And the other is Dr Kim, a Chinese American REAL Bible Believers - and they are soooooo very good at explaining things you don't quite understand.
In light of the fact that I haven't got access to my Bible, these two gentlemen have been a God send
Adjusting to this new lifestyle isn't easy. In fact, it's downright abominable. Given the stats and papers that I've been reading that say it's no where near as bad a bad flu season.
In fact, even though I've been a perfect citizen all through my life, abiding by laws and obeying those in authority, something inside me is welling up and wanting to rebel.
Perhaps this kind of scenario was needed? Perhaps it was engineered to bring people into a new way of 'being'? Perhaps, just perhaps, we might actually see this through and adjust to a new kind of wonderful?
My only hope is that not too many of the older generation are 'sloughed off' in the meantime.
Kaye Bewley MA
Kaye is a freelance publisher, author and certified psychotherapist with over three decades of experience. She is also a writer for various blogs about writing, publishing, travelling and health care.
Feel free to visit her BewleyBooks.com site, where you can sign-up to follow her on her various social media platforms.