Updated: Nov 16
Back in the 1980s, my job was to assist the team that researched the possibility of using different sources of energy other than fossil fuels. Those big windmills you see dotted around the world is a result of that work.
Being young (if you can call late 20s, young) and ignorant of the world and its political ailments, I enthusiastically went with the plan. I recalled a time, a decade earlier no less, where I was being taught at school to prepare for a global ice age that was building a threat to our existence.
But that came and went.
Instead, scientists around the world admitted (bless them, I can respect those who get it wrong and own up to their mistakes), there was something wrong with their figures and the globe was (in the 80s), about to warm up.
Working at ETSU (the Energy Technology Support Unit) was a good place to be. We were good people. The sun shone and we earned a good living by building the world a better future. And I had a right to feel proud as I was right at the centre of it all.
Today, I drive past those mega-monsters and curl my lip with derision. I have since learned that those white beasts are powered by the very wood from trees we are supposed to save, or diesel, the fuel we are told is unhealthy and we shouldn't use anymore.
Added to this, the people who live within a hairs breath of these giants oddly enough, get continuous headaches. Apparently, the propellers vibrate as they thump through the breeze and anyone with any sense knows that vibrations at a certain level affect the human body in weird ways.
Am I partly to blame? I don't know. Lately, things are getting a little weird and I'm getting oh so anxious about it all.
Since Christmas, we have been subjected to a barrage of more than half a newspaper and daily updates via the news media about some kind of virus that's going around. A virus that could potentially lead to some devastation if we aren't prepared for it.
In another time, what seems like a long time ago, I used to work for the media. The nightly news from the BBC and for Trevor MacDonald of ITN. It was another good job that I had. We were doing sterling research work again, and it was exciting to be part of something that the whole world would sit down to watch. Sadly, I've observed that the media of late has been giving odd messages to the world.
While the rest of the world's population have been ordered to wash their hands because it will 'save lives', people in the UK have been advised to do it to the tune of 'Happy Birthday'. I'm not surprised. I've seen many good jokes about it on Facebook. They've been a delight to read, because they've lightened my mood somewhat. Bringing a much-needed breath of fresh air to the doom and gloom I've been reading in the papers.
Also, the World Health Organisation has said that masks are not much cop so we don't need to wear them. But they do recommend those who have been infected with the virus to wear them, but stipulate quite strongly that mask-wearing doesn't do healthy people any good. Thank goodness there's a bit of sense about the world.
Even given that wise piece of advice, doctors are telling people not to visit them if they think they have the virus.
Eh? I thought doctors were there on the front line for that specific reason - to get people better.
Instead, we are to call a number (111) where we are promptly told by someone who doesn't appear to have any medical knowledge, to visit a hospital instead.
One worrying article I caught in the newspapers was that doctors are predicting that the elderly will be sacrificed so the young can continue with this world. Coronavirus pandemic could see elderly and weaker patients ‘sacrificed’ if NHS overwhelmed by virus
Eh? What's that all about? A bit worrying to say the least.
Given that the usual threats of flu from the farm (cattle, pigs, chickens to list a few - we haven't had anything from a sheep yet though - I'm kind of desperate for headings that lead with 'Ewe flu', but none have come - yet), it's weird that this thing has come from a bat in China.
But we're British! We're brave. We'll carry on through it. Whatever the world flings at us, we just ignore it and carry on. Don't we?
Regardless of this, I have been going about my business while thinking about leaving the company that I work for. I find my own situation unbearably unacceptable so, I figured, the best thing for me to do is to remove myself from it.
I climbed into my campervan and made for the hills, the Malvern Hills to be exact. The one place that I felt I could guarantee beautiful fresh air and peace. They, without fault, give me clarity of mind and emotions.
The weather people predicted a warm weekend filled with sunshine. As the rain pattered on my metal roof and my bones were chilled to the... well, bone... I huffed and accepted they had got it wrong - again.
One thing that helps anxious emotions settle is clarity.
As walking the hills was going to be an impossible task for me and, therefore, unable to offer me that this weekend, so I hoped to be able to give it to others.
Instead of heading for a vigorating walk up the hills, I sat in my camper and started to record a video about Phobias. Putting my psychotherapy hat on made me feel good and I hoped that course of action would help others feel better about what was going on around them too.
The coming weeks are going to be a challenge for me and I know that I'm going to have to change my way of life. But, I guess all will 'out' in the end.
I'm a true believer in Karma, or the "what you give out, you get back 10 times" Bible theory. It's true. It always comes to that and wins the day. And, in the end, the truth always comes to the fore, someway, somehow at some point.
So, I can put my trust in that and stop feeling so knotted up inside.
At least I hope I can. But something is different now. There seems to be an air of panic about the place. If I'm feeling at odds with myself, then I'm sure I know that others will be feeling the same way.
Something has changed.
Something that's not quite normal.
Something bigger than the changeable climate scenario I've been living with for most of my life.
But, maybe I'm being overly anxious? Or some kind of phobia is taking a grip of my life? Maybe I ought to start taking my own advice.
Kaye Bewley MA
Kaye is a freelance publisher, author and certified psychotherapist with over three decades of experience. She is also a writer for various blogs about writing, publishing, travelling and health care.
Feel free to visit her BewleyBooks.com site, where you can sign-up to follow her on her various social media platforms.